Doing the 'Unfriend' Fandago

Know what's funny? I always draw myself as a kid. What's up with that??

You know who's good at losing two Facebook fans for every single fan she gains? This girl.

Each time I think I'm hitting my stride, I go and share something that bugs a few folks and they leave me.

Most of the time I find it hilarious. Unless I'm in one of those frames of mind -- you know the kind; the low-esteem, full-of-self-doubt kind -- and then I worry. Why did they 'unfriend' me? What did I do to make them decide not to be a fan any longer? Did I sound too honest? Did I sound dishonest?

And yeah, I'm making it seem as though they run away in spades when really it's only a few at most. But, dang it, they do it all at once and I panic when that happens.

It seems like I begin losing fans when I post something that sounds 'less than perfect.' Like maybe about struggling with a creative block or doubting my artistic abilities. I get that posts like those aren't fun to read. But they're Me being Honest.

And I think honesty's important. There's nothing worse than reading an artist's blog that seems too good to be true. It makes me wonder what's wrong with me that my creative life isn't that perfect. And eventually I begin to dislike the blogger, as if they're responsible for making me feel bad about myself....

But do I continue to follow them? Of course! Even if it's not 100% true, their life still seems to be pure MAGIC. Every thing they do works out, looks great, sells immediately, gets rave reviews. Creative blocks? Never!

And I want that.

However, now I'm also on the lookout for that chink in their armor. And when I find it, there's that "A-hah, I knew it!" victory rush inside and I'm suddenly able to cut myself some slack. "Hey, we can be friends again because they're flawed, too, just like me!" Only I admit it -- up, down, and sideways....

I'm always admitting it.

It's one of the first things I tell people about myself, actually.

And maybe that's my problem....?

...(*crickets*)....

Anyway -- (*gives self a good shake*) -- in the case of my own blogging, time passes. I pick myself up. I tell myself that it's OK to feel what I feel, it's OK to have doubts, it's OK to express them. I don't have to apologize for what's going on in my head. It's a struggle in here! Some days are creative gold; I think I'm making progress, learning big carved-in-stone things about myself, finding my definitive voice. And then moments later I question it all.

I can't be the only human bean on this rock who rediscovers herself anew each day and wonders just who the heck she was the day before. My layers-upon-layers are painful to peel sometimes, but it's fascinating to see what each uncovers. Some things stay the same (sort of) and just get more antiqued and beautified (or just more weathered and less sharp and pokey). Other things just gradually wear away. I'm never the same, never 100% the bean I was yesterday, not yet the interesting one I'll be tomorrow.

That pleases me. I like my layers! And I guess those 'unfriends' are gonna miss all the fun of the future.

Bummer for them. :)
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Questions for YOU

Flying, flying! But to where, exactly?....

It happens every year around the Holidays.

I rethink this blog, where it's gone, and where it's (hopefully) going.

I think about how it's supposed to be about my business -- Mayfaire -- and about my art and my creative process and stuff, but how it ends up being pretty much just a letter from me to you about all sorts of things that aren't necessarily creativity-related.

And that just seems to be in conflict with what I'd intended this blog to be....

Then I think, maybe I should start another blog, and let that one be the personal one.

And then I think, who's gonna want to take the time to follow TWO of my blogs??

Yeesh.

Obviously I need some direction. So here's where you come in. Below is a small list of questions that I hope you'll take a moment to answer either here or on my Facebook page as doing so would be really really helpful to me. Ready? Here goes:

1. What past Mayfaire posts are your faves? What do you enjoy reading about here? Is it the personal stuff about my thoughts, my house, my pets/kids/grandbugs? Is it the stuff about my art and my creative process? Is it about bigger stuff -- what artists I like, why saving Monarch butterflies is my passion, things like that? What about this blog interests you? (I know which posts are most popular, but their subject matters seem to be all over the map, so that's just confusing me again....)
2. More photos or less photos? Longer posts or shorter? Every day or only when I've got something important to say? Is it important that you hear from me often? Or is it just annoying if I pop up in your in-box every day?
3. Should I limit myself here to just my art? Or does it somehow work to have everything -- business, personal, the works -- jumbled together? If I just wrote here about All Things Mayfaire, would you be interested in (or take the time to follow) a separate blog about all the other stuff? And if there were two blogs, which would you look forward to the most?

I like that it's just me and you here. Writing to you is one of my favorite things to do and it makes me happy. But I want you to be happy here, too. Your opinion matters! So thank you in advance for your reply, my friend. :)
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Coffee, Comments, and Change

You may have noticed: there are no longer any 'comments' capabilities on my blog. There used to be (and I've appreciated every one that I've ever received, please know!). But recently I found myself of two minds about a post I was editing, wondering if I was about to step on any toes by hitting the 'publish' button. I had an opinion, but I doubted if many would share it or understand it. And then I wondered how I'd feel if I was challenged. Would I waffle? Back down? Go into a tailspin? Do what I usually do: hide until hopefully everyone's moved on so we can change the subject?

And at about the same time, I realized just how much I check (and recheck) that dang 'comments' section to see if I've Got Mail. I'm not an attentionmonger, but no one wants to feel completely invisible. And lack of comments just made me think that all the time I was taking to write, hone, proofread, perfect was for nothing, like writing a letter and attaching it to a balloon....

I realize The Maily is completely narcissistic; except for those occasions where I sneak in a post about a Bigger Picture, every day it's all about Me, and that's not the way to write a blog and expect it to be read, at least that's what I've been told, and I tend to agree. But I'm still learning and still trying to find my groove here. And I hope that if I haven't driven you away yet, that you're willing to hang in here with me until The Maily gets its legs proper....

But my goal is not to have a crazy big blog that gets me a spot on The View. I get my 15 Minutes of Fame every season at Fest when a customer takes a moment to personally tell me how much my work has made them smile, and that's way more than enough attention and responsibility for me. This blog is for that customer. It's because we meet only once a year, and this is for the rest of that time, for keeping in touch, for making that special moment last a little longer, maybe enhancing it with a personal story or two.

Before I began The Maily, I knew it was going to be for That Customer, and I tried to put myself in their place. I picked up a favorite picture book will illustrations by a favorite artist and remember thinking, "If Tasha Tudor were alive and writing a blog, I'd be all over that! And I'd want her to write as if she was taking a moment out of her day to have coffee with me."

The idea gave me shivers. I wouldn't have wanted her to write about anything but herself and what was happening in her magickal world. What was going on outside her window? Better yet, what was going on inside her head? And when I tried to imagine what a post from Tasha would look like, I didn't see a big, long, wordy, opinionated diatribe with links and advertisements. I saw a single photo and a paragraph. A magickal moment.

I began The Maily with that format in mind, then doubted myself when everything I read about blogwriting told me I was doing it wrong. Then the 'comments' section seemed to prove to me that I was doing it wrong. And then I began rethinking the whole dang thing.

But now I'm back to Square One. I like my original idea and I don't want to change it.

So I made the decision to take away the 'comments' capabilities. (Everyone knows they can still share a word on my Facebook page if they must.) There is now nothing to be checking and rechecking. I don't have to self-edit -- how will I know if I've stepped on toes if this is essentially a one-way conversation? And -- save for the occasional bout of wordiness -- I plan to continue doing exactly as I originally imagined: write to you as if I was taking a moment out of my day to share a coffee.

Because I am.
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X's and O's

This is for you

Guess what??

Yesterday's post generated a comment -- Woohoo!

It generated two, actually, as another friend of mine emailed me yesterday that she'd tried to introduce herself here in the comments section, as I'd requested, but was unable to do so.

I think I understand why it was difficult: These things don't necessarily make it easy for us to communicate with, do they? I can remember in the past wanting to comment on so many blogposts on so many blogsites but discovering that in order to do so I had to jump through hoops, create an account, choose an avatar, blahddy blah.... And then there's the part about one's comment having to be moderated first before the blog itself allows it to even appear. Yeah, there's that....

(Of course, there's also the possibility that I've set up this site so that commenting on it is a problem. Yeah, there's that, too....)

BUT -- Yesterday's post and the response it generated tells me that I still have readers -- HUZZAH!

a'poier,elapod; voiemrint eomvpoke,ao;!!! (That was the happy keyboard dance right there -- :D)

Knowing that I haven't lost every single one of you buoys my heart and keeps me from having to write to my own self. Although you know I would do that, don't you? And I'd comment on my own posts, too, to keep from looking completely ridiculous. Because I'm shameless that way.

So here's a great big beautiful THANK YOU.

To you. Yes, YOU.

And may this be the start of a nice communication.

<3,
...delayne.

Miss Me?

Even my coffee's happy to be back!

Wow, right?

Over a whole dang month without a post! I just hope you're still out there and haven't completely forgotten me.... 

My excuse for not posting is that things have been Yikesville here ever since Festival ended at the beginning of October, and the older I get the less I'm able to deal, apparently.

Don't worry, mostly good stuff happened: Among them a beautiful new grandson, a long visit from my Eldest from California, Halloween (my favorite holiday!), and the emotional punch that comes with having a milestone birthday, to name just a few.

(And there was some not-so-good stuff in there, too, but everything's fine now so we won't even go there.)

And, of course, in all the activity and excitement I managed to come down with The Plague -- surprise! It was just a serious cold, really, but it certainly felt like the plague, and this aggravated an existing condition that was already compromised from the stress of all that is Fest, after which I required some serious downtime. And when I'm away from blogging/writing for longer than a couple days it's really easy for me to lose the routine. Oops.

Anyway, I want to get back to it because... I MISS WRITING TO YOU! (I really do! Ask anybody!) And I'm grateful for you and oh so happy to be here again. Just wanted you to know that.

SO -- I raise my smiley-face cup of Joe to you and say, "Here we go!"

x x and o,

...delayne.
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Some Local Inspiration

Art copyright Nancy Carlson

As James and I waited in line to order our lunch today at the corner fast food place, I noticed on the front page of the day's crumpled Variety section a photo of local kids' book author and illustrator Nancy Carlson, seated at her drawing table (a table that looks a lot like mine, what with all the notes written on its surface; and just how cool is it anyway that there are clots of pens in plastic bins and papers stacked in the background!?) and showing off her doodles to Strib photog Tom Wallace.

Seeing Nancy's face and her familiar drawing style filled my head with memories. Her books first began appearing back when my own girls were small, and they grew up reading her stories about Harriet the dog and Harriet's friends Loudmouth George and Louanne Pig. But I admit that since their childhood I've lost track of Nancy and her works and had no idea that she's created over 60 books over the years. (Go, Nancy, go!)

The body of the article informed me that over a year ago Nancy's editor suggested she post something online regularly 'as a way of keeping her name in the public eye' and so she decided to draw a doodle a day and share it on her blog. And as soon as I got home again after eating that turkey burger, I checked out her site and signed up to receive her cheerful daily updates. (Guess what? Her birthday is the day after mine! And she hates airplanes and scary rides, too! A kindred spirit....)

Since reading the article I can't help thinking about what a great exercise it must be to create and post a Little Something daily. And so I've decided to follow her example. (Or TRY to, at least; those are some amazing shoes to fill.) Doing so will give me something to share when I'm feeling too quiet for words. Plus, it'll make this 'art blog' look like it means business.

So thank you in advance, Nancy Carlson, for this great suggestion. It's so nice to 'reconnect' with you and your wonderful characters again after all these years! And I hope you don't mind if I follow your impressive example and pray for a fraction of your productivity.

It'll do me a world of good. :)
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Why Here? Why Now?

Bloggers today are fearless. As in 'no parachute' fearless. They burn bridges, type obscenities, name names, and fly by the seat of their pants. They're honest as all get-out and post things on the Internet that I can't help but imagine will someday come back to bite them in the butt.

And I admire them from afar....

I'm Old School. I didn't grow up with the Internet. To me, it's like a Visitor -- all perfect and shiny and full of the promise of good things, while somewhere in its humming works I suspect it's plotting my destruction. I don't trust it.

But times have changed and I have to change, too. It's no longer enough for me to have a website for my work. If Mayfaire's going to grow at all I have to step out of my online comfort zone.

I follow and study the artists I admire who have created successful businesses. They blog and Tweet and host giveaways and post tutorials on YouTube -- they do it all! But the biggest thing I've learned from them EVER is that folks who purchase from them want more than just their art -- they want a relationship. They want to be friends. They want to see their cluttered studios and enjoy the views from their windows and look over their shoulders as they create a little something.

It all makes perfect sense to me....

So I've given it a lot of thought. And if you're at all interested, I'd like to share a bit of my world with you. However, because I can't shovel out enough room in my cluttered studio to show you in person the view from my window or the art that's on the drawing table, I hope this blogspace will suffice.

Still with me?
:)

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