On Your Mark, Get Set, Here We Go

I have this beautiful friend who is desperate to make a Life Change, and the pain in her voice when she talks to me about it breaks my heart....

If I had a magick wand that really works, I swear I'd fix it all for her in an instant so she wouldn't have to feel this pain! I'd completely erase all the hard work she has to look forward to, because I love her and want her to be happy! But I know that's the worst thing I could do.

This isn't the first time she's wanted this or the first time she's talked to me about it or the first time she's embarked on this journey. It's happened many times before but never lasts very long; and each time she tries and quits, she feels worse about herself.

I can't let that happen again. She's too important to me! But I'll admit that a part of me doesn't want to get involved again because it destroys me when she makes a good start and then just gives up on herself. Does she not know how much she deserves this? How much her friends and family are behind her on this? How much her kids NEED her to do this??

I want 2015 to be her Best Year Ever! I want her to look back on it and be so dang proud of herself that she's at a loss for words! And then I want her to look ahead at a lifetime of excellent health and a world of amazing possibilities! (Not to mention a closet full of trendy wardrobe choices....)

All easy for me to say.... I sit here writing about how none of this will happen for her if she doesn't get up, work HARD, sweat blood. Perhaps she'd be more willing to stick with it if I did the same.

A year from now I would love to be able to tuck in my shirt. I year from now I would love to keep up with my grandkids without wheezing, and move comfortably without pain or complaint, and spend less time sleeping and more time living.... A year from now I would love to look back on 2015 and be proud of myself, and be in better health (better shape, better creative place, better fill-in-the-blank) THEN than I am NOW.

So. To show my solidarity, I will begin today to make that change and hope that my efforts set a good example for my beautiful friend and communicate to her my love and support.

Because I want her to know she's not alone in this struggle and that I'm here for her.

Maybe YOU are her....

?....

Well then. Know I'm here for you. And I'm willing to do this if you are. And I will hold myself accountable to you in these posts. Because I want 2015 to be our year, THE year.

Deal?
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Coffee, Comments, and Change

You may have noticed: there are no longer any 'comments' capabilities on my blog. There used to be (and I've appreciated every one that I've ever received, please know!). But recently I found myself of two minds about a post I was editing, wondering if I was about to step on any toes by hitting the 'publish' button. I had an opinion, but I doubted if many would share it or understand it. And then I wondered how I'd feel if I was challenged. Would I waffle? Back down? Go into a tailspin? Do what I usually do: hide until hopefully everyone's moved on so we can change the subject?

And at about the same time, I realized just how much I check (and recheck) that dang 'comments' section to see if I've Got Mail. I'm not an attentionmonger, but no one wants to feel completely invisible. And lack of comments just made me think that all the time I was taking to write, hone, proofread, perfect was for nothing, like writing a letter and attaching it to a balloon....

I realize The Maily is completely narcissistic; except for those occasions where I sneak in a post about a Bigger Picture, every day it's all about Me, and that's not the way to write a blog and expect it to be read, at least that's what I've been told, and I tend to agree. But I'm still learning and still trying to find my groove here. And I hope that if I haven't driven you away yet, that you're willing to hang in here with me until The Maily gets its legs proper....

But my goal is not to have a crazy big blog that gets me a spot on The View. I get my 15 Minutes of Fame every season at Fest when a customer takes a moment to personally tell me how much my work has made them smile, and that's way more than enough attention and responsibility for me. This blog is for that customer. It's because we meet only once a year, and this is for the rest of that time, for keeping in touch, for making that special moment last a little longer, maybe enhancing it with a personal story or two.

Before I began The Maily, I knew it was going to be for That Customer, and I tried to put myself in their place. I picked up a favorite picture book will illustrations by a favorite artist and remember thinking, "If Tasha Tudor were alive and writing a blog, I'd be all over that! And I'd want her to write as if she was taking a moment out of her day to have coffee with me."

The idea gave me shivers. I wouldn't have wanted her to write about anything but herself and what was happening in her magickal world. What was going on outside her window? Better yet, what was going on inside her head? And when I tried to imagine what a post from Tasha would look like, I didn't see a big, long, wordy, opinionated diatribe with links and advertisements. I saw a single photo and a paragraph. A magickal moment.

I began The Maily with that format in mind, then doubted myself when everything I read about blogwriting told me I was doing it wrong. Then the 'comments' section seemed to prove to me that I was doing it wrong. And then I began rethinking the whole dang thing.

But now I'm back to Square One. I like my original idea and I don't want to change it.

So I made the decision to take away the 'comments' capabilities. (Everyone knows they can still share a word on my Facebook page if they must.) There is now nothing to be checking and rechecking. I don't have to self-edit -- how will I know if I've stepped on toes if this is essentially a one-way conversation? And -- save for the occasional bout of wordiness -- I plan to continue doing exactly as I originally imagined: write to you as if I was taking a moment out of my day to share a coffee.

Because I am.
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Back to the Past

The '80s were a bit ago and he's STILL this cute. How does he do that??

A friend of mine shared a photo collage on Facebook with me today of actor Michael J. Fox's character 'Marty McFly' in the movie 'Back to the Future.' And underneath the picture of Marty was a screen capture of the dashboard of his DeLorean revealing that yesterday -- 01/04/13 --was the day he'd have arrived here in the Future.

(I know, I know; the last time that photo appeared on Facebook there was a different date on the DeLorean then. But I'm leaving it at yesterday's date because it fits with my post, 'k?)

Seeing the photo filled me with memories; not of the film so much as of my life at the time I was watching those scenes. And then the thought immediately came to me that if I were to catch sight of Marty McFly today, I'd have half a mind to stow away with him back to the '80s. Because -- dang! -- I need a big old Do Over!

Good Question

Not long ago I signed up to receive a daily message in my In Box from my very own 'Inner Pilot Light' courtesy of Lissa Rankin.

What's an Inner Pilot Light, you ask? It's that feeling in your gut that tells you what's what. It's that little divine spark that makes you You. It's that authentic bit, that Inner Child that looks at everything with interest and wonder and complete honesty, that bit that asks the tough questions.

Most days its emails are spot on, telling me exactly what I need to hear at exactly when I need to hear it. Like today:

"My dear delayne,

Every day is a chance to start over. The past is behind you. The future has yet to happen. The only thing that truly exists is this moment. And in this moment, you can begin again.

So what do you want to create in this moment? Who are you in this moment? What old stories are you ready to let go of? What new ones are you ready to start?

Not sure?

Ask me.

With all the answers,
Your Inner Pilot Light"

When I read it, I almost glanced behind myself. I half-expected to see a little flicker there. With a face. Kind of like a Ghost of Christmas Past reading over my shoulder....

The Countdown Begins

I'm brimming with ideas and opinions and hopes and resolutions.

I want to make changes. I want to run my forearm over my world and erase it clean.

I want to start over. Jettison. Simplify. Re-evaluate. Set fires. Plant seeds. Stay home. Fly away....

Am I the only one who feels like this on the last day of December? Hopeful, afraid, excited? On the brink of 'differentness?' As though by just living through the next few hours I will cross a line and somehow be reinvented. 

One can always hope.
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