Monday, April 9, 2012
Not that I didn't enjoy being a mother (or, in my case, an oddmother). It's just that being a granny oddmother is completely different. It's like motherhood with fairy wings, I swear.
I've been hearing for years about just how special this stage of life is and I have to admit I was a little afraid of it. I'm not a kid person. I thought I'd made an exception for my own offspring when they appeared way back when, but perhaps they could even tell. I was probably only fooling myself into thinking I was capable of being someone's mom....
Giving birth is hard enough. But mothering is the hardest thing any woman could ever do, I'm pretty dang sure. There are the small victories and the larger-than-life doubts, the ups and downs and joys and sadnesses. The comparisons -- gawd! Mothers everywhere with their my-way-is-the-only-way opinions. I thought for sure I was wrecking my Girlz more than I was raising them. And I wondered if the Universe knew what It was doing when It put them in my life.
But sometimes I half suspect that all those difficult paths led to HERE. Right here. Right now.
Because being a granny oddmother suddenly defines me to a T. I like this role. It has character! And magick! And scene-stealing dialogue one can sink their teeth into. And I can play it until I'm a hundred and ten and not have to worry about fitting into the ingenue costume or losing my part to someone younger or better suited for the role. Because there's no one better suited for the role! At least not on this stage.
And, bless us, grandmothers everywhere are like a big sisterhood. We can do what we do without worrying about other grandmas getting in our faces and saying, "it's wrong to serve dessert for lunch," or "rocking a baby to sleep does more harm than good," or "letting a child stay home from school just because it's snowing outside for the first time this winter just leads to more bad habits." We know that Life is all about the little things that are really big things in disguise.
And maybe we suspected as much back when we were mothers ourselves. But all the other things on our plates blinded us then. Supervisors and doctors and peers and even perhaps our own mothers urged us to toe the line and conform. Act like responsible adults. Use tough love.
But no one tells grannies what to do. We've got wisdom and experience on our side!
And cookies. :)