On Your Mark, Get Set, Here We Go

I have this beautiful friend who is desperate to make a Life Change, and the pain in her voice when she talks to me about it breaks my heart....

If I had a magick wand that really works, I swear I'd fix it all for her in an instant so she wouldn't have to feel this pain! I'd completely erase all the hard work she has to look forward to, because I love her and want her to be happy! But I know that's the worst thing I could do.

This isn't the first time she's wanted this or the first time she's talked to me about it or the first time she's embarked on this journey. It's happened many times before but never lasts very long; and each time she tries and quits, she feels worse about herself.

I can't let that happen again. She's too important to me! But I'll admit that a part of me doesn't want to get involved again because it destroys me when she makes a good start and then just gives up on herself. Does she not know how much she deserves this? How much her friends and family are behind her on this? How much her kids NEED her to do this??

I want 2015 to be her Best Year Ever! I want her to look back on it and be so dang proud of herself that she's at a loss for words! And then I want her to look ahead at a lifetime of excellent health and a world of amazing possibilities! (Not to mention a closet full of trendy wardrobe choices....)

All easy for me to say.... I sit here writing about how none of this will happen for her if she doesn't get up, work HARD, sweat blood. Perhaps she'd be more willing to stick with it if I did the same.

A year from now I would love to be able to tuck in my shirt. I year from now I would love to keep up with my grandkids without wheezing, and move comfortably without pain or complaint, and spend less time sleeping and more time living.... A year from now I would love to look back on 2015 and be proud of myself, and be in better health (better shape, better creative place, better fill-in-the-blank) THEN than I am NOW.

So. To show my solidarity, I will begin today to make that change and hope that my efforts set a good example for my beautiful friend and communicate to her my love and support.

Because I want her to know she's not alone in this struggle and that I'm here for her.

Maybe YOU are her....

?....

Well then. Know I'm here for you. And I'm willing to do this if you are. And I will hold myself accountable to you in these posts. Because I want 2015 to be our year, THE year.

Deal?
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I See You, Twenty-Twelve!

Here we GO!

The clock is ticking....

Right now it's the wee, little, pre-dawn hours of the last day of 2011.

And in my head I'm a million miles away in my imagination, planning Big Things for the New Year. Big Creative Things that are all MINE.

Big Things that involve stories and new products and more art and hopefully a little travel. Maybe some surprise endings and vague destinations. Perhaps even some (gasp!) COLOR. And definitely some stepping-outside-of-one's-comfort-zone.

These plans might just require an alias. And the addition of another personality or two. Or three. And maybe some mismatched stockings. And definitely a hat.... And an amulet.

And maybe even a traveling companion. Like a fox. Or an owl. Or a fox that IS an owl. One that wears a top hat and speaks in riddles and might be a foe or a friend or a faux friend or a fey friend, and only needs glasses when he reads....

Or she reads?

Who knows? Who wants to know? I want to know. I can't wait to know.

So here's to Big Plans. Here's to discovery!

Here's to the New Be-a-YOU-tiful Year.
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Fresh Air = Fresh Perspective

One of my Resolutions for 2011 is to spend some time each day outside, no matter what. Lord knows I could use the dang exercise and fresh air, of course. But I see that I'm becoming more and more reclusive as I age, and I know now that if I don't pay the Earth a daily visit, I'll lose touch with Her altogether. Sounds like a good habit to get into, in any event.

So yesterday I layered myself up and walked a side street to the town's main thoroughfare and back again. Snow was coming down at the time -- big sparkly flakes like sequins. And between the sounds my boots made as I crunched along I could hear them fall....

I stopped to appreciate one of my favorite trees, an oak that keeps its leaves in winter. And I saw discarded pines at the curbside, some still sporting a thread or two of tinsel, and I made a point of thinking kind thoughts to them about how noble it was to have been a Christmas tree. (Normally I'd just stand there and tell them so personally, but for some reason yesterday I saw in my head the entire village looking out its windows for a second and catching me talking to myself in the snow....)

Then on my way home again I happened upon a fort that some child had dug in a drift, and I couldn't help but stop to appreciate it as it was like none of the winter creations that I'd ever managed to make as a kid. This structure looked like it'd been carved out of ice pack. It was dark and sturdy and as big as a child-sized cave. There were even blunt little icicles hanging inside like stalactites. And when I bent over to look at it all head-on, I realized that the whole thing tunneled through the drift to daylight, and when I saw that it did so, I immediately recognized my focus for the year:

The way may appear to be cold and dark at first, but the dangers are minimal. And there's a light eventually.

Hmmmm. I can live with that. :)
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Good Intentions

I dusted off my resolutions today. And my treadmill. (Correction: James's treadmill.) And although I longed to leap into my new exercise regimen with gusto, I took it slow and gave myself a ten-minute limit. I love how just ten minutes of moving warms a body up and gets everything going in a forward motion.

I'm a horrid overachiever when it comes to New Year's resolutions. I swear my midnight list has everything on it from losing five pounds to curing cancer, and in reality, I'm lucky if I can manage to scratch even half of one from the count by the end of the year. This year's list is no exception, and I can already almost sense the taste of failure in the dust kicked up by the treadmill.

But it's not bad to set big, unrealistic goals, is it? I'm sure every New Year's Eve at midnight biochemists everywhere are writing Find a Cure for Cancer and it has yet to happen. But all year long they're working hard to make progress, and every year's end shows signs of improvement. Eventually the time will come when they can cross it off and celebrate.

There's so much I want to do this year. So many changes I want to make! And I know I'll be lucky to meet even one of my goals. But if I only keep moving in a forward motion, any progress I'm able to make will look dang good at the end of the year.
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(P.S. I couldn't help but post a pic of my getting-rattier-by-the-day Skechers -- icons of last year's good intentions -- as the big old visual for this post. Everytime they're on my feet I can't help but see little killer whales out of the corner of my eye! Hm. Whales and resolutions of weight loss; I sense a connection.... ;->)