Saturday, January 14, 2012

Signs and Symbols

Such a weird day. Such a wonder.... I'm far inside myself somewhere, interpreting signs in everything I see like the weirdling that I am.
I was feeling particularly toxic earlier and so I hied my ownself out into the cold. Layers and layers, except for my face, because that icy wind straight to my forehead opens up my brain like nothing else. It startles me like a slap upside the head. Wakes me up.
And it surprised me to see my Minnesota neighborhood in the very heart of January with no snow to speak of. It's not like I didn't already know this, but again -- the cold opened my eyes and made me really see it.
Friends are quick to scold me lately when I say anything negative about the weather, like how weird is it anyway that our winter is so unwinterlike. I don't mind the unseasonableness of it, necessarily. There was a time when waiting for the schoolbus in negative temps and without a coat was uncomfortable but certainly do-able. But not anymore. My bones caught up. Now reaching into the freezer for my supper ingredients is enough to set me back a bunch. So it's not like I haven't enjoyed being able to navigate the Village on foot with no icy sidewalks and bulky snowbanks to impede me and just a sweatshirt to warm me. I'll admit it's convenient. But still.... It's odd and noticeable. Plus, in my head I'd imagined November - December - January being all about Me trapped in Tumbledown with my books and my pencils, happily creating art at my leisure while blizzards rage.
There's still plenty of time, I know. January's not over yet. And truth be told, even WITH the bad weather of my imaginings I wouldn't have been able to devote any time to personal creative endeavors anyway. Things have been that out of whack around here.
But I can't help but see this weather and make it be All About Me. Like it's a sign or something. The Universe telling me to wake the heck up already and get it in gear. There's no time for cocooning or reading or leisurely anything.
Things need doing.
And there's no time like the Present.

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