Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Remember Me?

Chili peppers sometimes like the color pink and wear slippers. :)
I've yet to share a post in this crazy month of March and it's nearly over.

How can that be, I wonder?

Well, truthfully?, I think I understand. There've been bills to pay, movies to catch up on, appointments to keep, visits to make. I've been to California and back again, I've written letters and postcards, I've taken a bajillion photos....

There were planes and trains and automobiles in my March. Backpacks and strollers and car seats.

There were crowds of people poking pins in my Comfort Zone, and legions of thoughts filling up the rooms in my head.

I saw cherry trees in blossom, daffodils nodding along the roadside, snow on the mountains. I walked trails. I appreciated pines so tall and air so fresh and beer so exquisite that I thought I was on another planet. I collected leaves, acorns, pennies, maple keys. I studied millipedes and treebark and bear tracks and banana slugs....

And I loved on a grandbug so small and feisty that I'm thinking of calling her my little chili pepper. Seriously -- so dang small I could tuck her in my carry-on for the return trip home again! And believe me, it was tempting....

She dubbed me 'yaya,' can you believe it? (Finally -- an honest-to-goodness gramma name.) And I drew pictures of her and sent them to my Minnesota 'bugs. And ever since I've been dealing with the sad goodbyes and the difficult withdrawals and the Dark Looming of the Rabbit Hole....

After all the activity (granted, I didn't run any marathons, but my month's still been excessive by my standards) I was visited by a crazy Fibro flare-up that's had me up to my neck in hot soothing baths, soft clothes, and Aleve. And I've been taking quiet care of myself, care that involves stepping back from all forms of communication while I try to reunite my two halves and multiple personalities.

And now today I'm feeling almost sort of vaguely like myself again, if you can believe it. So I thought I'd drop a line to you just to let you know that I'm still here. And you're in my thoughts. And that if this is the only message I manage to send in this crazy month of March, I apologize. And I hope you can understand.


Sweet.... :)

Happy Vernal Equinox, my friend. I've missed you. (*Hug*)



  1. Well, "Yaya", I'm glad you survived making magical March memories with your little "chili pepper"! Thank you for sharing some of them with us; as always, you've managed to make me, at least, feel like part of the family. Take all the time you need to care for yourself. I'm not going anywhere, and I doubt if any of your readers/friends will abandon you, either! :-) dc

    1. Oh, a comment a comment a comment! -- YOU'RE STILL THERE.

      (*Sigh of relief*)

      Sending you a big virtual hug, because big real hugs are still a little ouchy yet. Hope you understand. :)

      Thank you for being you.

  2. You've had a busy month, my friend! I LOVE reading your posts because they come from so deep within you. Your uniqueness shows in every word and phrase. I'm glad to see you're posting again.

    I didn't know you had Fibromyalgia! Me too! I think it comes from being so much in your head that you can't really relax. I've actually been symptom free for 10 years or more. The secret is getting 8 hours of deep sleep each night which I can now do because of one specific anti-depressant and a c-pap machine. I hope you can find something that works for you, too. Love you!

    1. Thank you, Laurel. And your reason for being symptom-free is really interesting me now. I'm going to look into having a sleep study done, provided I can afford it.