Preparing to be Captured

A long LONG time ago I was brave, apparently

I follow him on social media and I read his posts, but last weekend was the first time I've spoken at length to Larry Edwards, one of our photographer regulars at Fest.

He visited primarily to offer his concern for something negative that happened in my shop the previous weekend (I suffered the downside of my Pay What You Wish idea.... it happens....) and had planned to purchase some art, and I suggested we trade: my work for his work.

And this weekend that might happen....

Rarely do I ever take a good photo. I think I'm allergic to camera lenses! I'll admit that it's not so bad now when all folks are pointing at me is a cellphone, but when someone who knows what they're doing points a badass lens at me, I immediately turn into Awkward Woman.

One of my Eldest's photos

My Eldest once took pics of me at Fest at the end of a cloudy day, while crowds were sparse and both of us were bored. Maybe I was tired. Maybe my sales were under par. In any event, I couldn't seem to smile much. I didn't care that the lens was staring me down. I didn't even care what I looked like....

But those PHOTOS! When I saw them afterward they took my breath away! Maybe it was because I trusted her and was comfortable with her? (Could it possibly be because she's female? Hmm....) Anyway, I swear I'd use them now for everything if I wasn't 20 years older than I was then....

Not so long ago, I participated in a photoshoot with a dear Fest friend who was having pics taken for a future book. I'd never done anything like that before, and the experience was surreal. Someone actually 'styled' me! But it was all fun and games (just acting natural with others in a group setting) until I was singled out and asked to pose.

I'll admit I have zero interest in The Spotlight. Even coached gently by my friend (who has TONS of experience with this!) I felt awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe vulnerable is a better word? All I know is that I'd rather have been enduring a root canal at that moment, and all I could think of was how I was disappointing my friend....

Twig the Fairy -- THIS is that friend!

I never once asked that photographer to show me what he'd taken. And when the book was published, I anxiously looked for myself in it. There I was, in a group photo, hiding behind my hand. No one would ever know it was me! (*whew!*)

This week, Mr. Edwards sent me a message: "Wear makeup this weekend if need be; let's shoot."

And I panicked.

The first thing I did was order a frippin' overdress in my post-menopausal granny-body size. Then I practiced making myself up to look 'glamorous.' Then I haunted the mailbox until the dress arrived, tried it on, saw that it FIT, breathed a sigh of relief!

But now today I'm taking a step back....

The hell am I doing!?

Mr. Edwards is a professional; his photos are incredible! And I'm a human bean; I look the way I look. And sometimes I even like the way I look.

James took this; it's not about my face maybe...

What would that future photo look like if I was just me? No makeup? (except eyebrows; I refuse to look like a sugar cookie in photos of myself....) Would I like it? Would it sadden me? Would I have to accept that THAT is the Real Me? Could I learn to be friends with that person? Come to terms with her? Embrace her?

Who knows if this will even happen. Fest is in its next-to-last weekend, things are brutal and busy now, and I'm the only one in my shop for most of the show day. I'd feel foolish if I glammed myself up and we weren't able to make the shoot happen. So how would it be if I just threw on my boy clothes and didn't care?

Hmmmm.

...to be continued...

Funko Pop ME Needs to Happen!

I have lots of Funko Pop characters around the house and in my studio because they're CUTE and I can't help myself. (James can't either.) And one morning at the studio I drew myself as one as a warm-up exercise:

I love that my figurine comes with lots of STUFF!

Of course, the 'extras' would be AMAZING. Not only would I come with all the above bits, but they could be changed out for other stuff!:

• an additional assortment of pets: a starling(!), a pair of lovebirds, a colorful little rooster with a bowtie, a fuzzy 'Lucas'-like spider, a shiny cornsnake, a stickbug, a mantid, a toad, a housemouse, and MORE,
• towers of books!,
• a musical instrument that can be swapped for the sketchbook and pencils under the arm,
• colorful hairchalks for that I-can't-decide-what-color-I-want-to-feel-like-today look!,
• black Chuck Taylors to replace the boots,
• a cloud of monarch butterflies and/or a herd of monarch caterpillars,
• an assortment of necklaces, leather bracelets, and silver rings,
• a backpack full of buttons: 'MN Nice,' 'Watch Less, Read More,' 'Sorry, I'm Awkward, Sorry,'
• a Hufflepuff house scarf,
• and a Cloak of Invisibility!

Seriously, my Funko Pop self would be expensive as hell to produce but would still be a big old HIT.

Well, at least to me!

...

Veronica Shafer -- Superhero!

Veronica 'n me!

As I stood behind my counter last Sunday at the Renaissance Festival, sharing a handful of my chrysalises and caterpillars with a few interested customers, a young lady in her teens entered my shop, accompanied by her mom and her two younger siblings. Veronica Shafer was there specifically to tell me about her achievements.

At the urging of her mother, Veronica shyly admitted to me that she'd successfully raised over 150 monarch butterflies!

And as if this incredible achievement wasn't enough, she then proudly told me about how she presented her project at this year's State Fair and won the Grand Champion award!

Of course, all of this made me do the happydance, as you can imagine. Ever since the summer I raised so many caterpillars that I was forced to take them all with me to Fest (just so my poor housesitter wouldn't have to deal with them in my absence) and people were curious about them and why I was raising them, folks stop in my shop all the time now to tell me about the milkweed they've planted and the caterpillars they're feeding.

(And I don't care who you are, one little kid telling you about how he raised a caterpillar until it became a butterfly will warm your heart and make your socks go up and down. I celebrate ALL the achievements!)

You can almost see her wings and halo in this picture!

But Veronica wasn't done yet.

She went on to tell me that she also approached her City Council, proposed that it take the Mayor's Monarch Pledge through the National Wildlife Federation, and suggested it create a pollinator garden at a local park, plant milkweed and native flowers in a nearby watershed area, and have an information booth at the local Fun Fest to educate the public about monarch butterflies!

And GUESS WHAT? -- her proposal was accepted! (Read about it on page 4 of Loretto's city newsletter!)

Veronica Shafer is a superhero. All the kiddos out there planting milkweed and learning about monarchs in school, all the kiddos looking for caterpillars and trying to raise them at home, all the kiddos who stop by now and share with me their monarch stories are superheroes. Knowing that they're doing this good work fills me with HOPE.

But here's the part that kills me with kindness.

Here's the part that breaks my heart and still gives me tears.

Veronica said she was inspired to do all this

because

of me.

The butterflies thank you, Veronica!

Once upon a time she came into my shop with her family and I showed her my brood of hungry, hungry hippos, and she became inspired. And I was completely unaware that all the while I was sharing silly stories about my monarch experiences I was actually making a memory for this incredible young person who is now going on to make a difference in the world as a result.

Wow.

I'm still... I don't know what... flabbergasted!

*big breath*

Anyway....

For the rest of that day after speaking with Veronica, I told EVERYONE about our meeting. Absolutely EVERYONE. And I'd end the story by saying, "Isn't this awesome!?"

And a dear friend whispered, "Do you know what's even more awesome, Delayne?.... That's only ONE that you know about."

...