BOOM! -- 2020

Today I feel a LOT like this little chickadee I witnessed on New Years Eve, so dazed and bewildered after accidentally crashing into my mother's patio door that it had all it could do to sit upright again without my assistance. And I blame it all on what I call the promise of my 'hibernation season' and the ultimate reality of it....

What was I thinking, anyway? On the heels of Fest came birthdays and my much-anticipated Halloween, followed by ramping up production again for my final art show of the year, then said art show occurring on the same weekend as Thanksgiving.... But I'd no sooner returned home again from the art show than I hopped a plane for Arkansas to spend as much time as possible with my Eldest and her family. It was a wonderful whirlwind! And during my absence James planned a Christmas vacation for the two of us to our favorite destination, hoping that by 'running away' for the holidays we could finally recuperate by avoiding all the usual Christmas stress.

So no sooner was I home again from Arkansas than James and I flew away. We'd purposely made zero plans for the holiday, hoping that our respective families would carry on without us. But if we thought we were making things easier for anyone, we were mistaken....

Christmas was just waiting for us when we got back. Family obligations were so immediate that I didn't even unpack (still haven't, really), just grabbed my suitcase and headed north until New Years Eve. Snow buried us. New Years Eve blew past us. And New Years Day found me finally home again and toasting the new year with the champagne James had bought for the night before. And suddenly I felt like I had been picked up and thrown into 2020. So much so that today I am that bird in the photo, blinking confusedly and wondering what the hell happened.

I slept until noon today, my first day alone at Tumbledown. And I'm tip-toeing and whispering in my shadowy house. There's no TV, no music, no lights. No sound save the click of my fingers on the computer keyboard. Even my Zoo is being especially gentle with me. It's like my normally exuberant Petz can sense that my nerve endings have been sanded raw and my brains are still addled. All around me Tumbledown looks like it did back in October after the end of Fest. As if I haven't had a moment since to deal with the after-season chaos....

When I think of my year, when I imagine it in my head -- all the months stretching out like a Year-at-a-Glance calendar -- October and November and December are empty. Blank. Like a hibernation period in my imagination. Full of rest and recuperation, and days when I can happily create, bake, decorate, dream, listen to carols and make handmade gifts while the snow falls outside, enveloping me in my cozy cocoon. I don't know why I still see it that way because it's never been that way, yet every year after Fest I still look forward to the fantasy of it with delightful anticipation.

All the additional unnecessary stress I caused for myself in the final weeks of 2019 did one thing positive, though: it shook every one of my cells by the hair until their eyes rattled. It spun me around until I had no idea which way I was facing. And I don’t think I’ve ever approached a New Year from this perspective before. 2019 ended seismically and chaotically and without any seasonal traditions to hang on to, and now 2020 feels like I'm still buried deep under the mess of it all even as the dust continues to fall and settle.

So here's to the dust settling already! And to the promise of a new year and a fresh sheet of paper. I am interested to see what transpires from here, both personally and artistically, and I look forward to sharing it with you.

Happy new year, my friend! Thank you for being in my life.

...me.
...

Earth Day 2019

 Mother Earth, this day

may all that dwell upon you

 

 

venerate your name. 

~delayne.

Odd Narwhal is my Spirit Animal

Someone had just one job. And unless this is a special licensed cartoon character that I'm unfamiliar with, they failed.

But Odd Narwhal doesn't care!

This toy and I ran across each other recently while I was looking for deals in a calendar store at the mall that is busy selling off its stock before pulling up stakes and moving on.

Is this a character from a cartoon? Was it simply assembled haphazardly in the factory? Is it unaware of its freakydeaky-ness? Is it cheery BECAUSE of it? I wonder....

And I love that there are little heart sparkles in its eyes, as if it couldn't be more pleased with itself, and its oddness, and Life, and its discounted price tag, and the fact that it's still on the shelf after the Holidays....

I've decided it will be the metaphor for my New Year. And I've decided that I may just have to return to the calendar store and rescue it (should it still need rescuing).

Smile on, Odd Narwhal! I applaud you! And I dub thee my spirit animal for 2019.

And in the New Year may we all proudly display and celebrate our individuality, our unique qualities, our put-together-wrong-ness with big smiles and heart sparkles.
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Yesterday's Commute

 My walk to 'work' yesterday was filled with magick....

I witnessed a little mob of starlings in a treetop and enjoyed their crazy, freeform mutterings.

I did not slip on any ice! (Hooray!)

Everyone I passed ignored me completely, even after I said 'hello' (what's up with that??), except for a wizened man (who looked like he was a hundred years old) who stopped me with his toothless smile, pointed at ducks on the river, said, "Aren't they BEAUTIFUL?", grinned and wished me a happy new year, and then shuffled on. (He was a gnome, I'm sure of it.)

There was a man and his dog in the snow, playing with a frisbee, and the dog was having the time of its life.

Leaves, leaves, leaves.

And clouds!

And the sounds of dripping, melting icicles.

And shadows....

And a studio that hasn't seen me for a bit.

And some FaceTime with this faraway grandbug. 

Due to a sudden poor connection partway through our computer visit, my face was frozen on her screen, and it remained so until the end of our conversation. 

As we said our goodbyes I was hesitant to throw her a kiss (as is our custom) because I wasn't sure she'd know when to catch it. And when I told her this, she just laughed and said,

"Oh, Yaya! I will catch anything you throw at me!" 

See? MAGICK.

...

First Weekend Eve of the New Year

Coral-hued clouds. Blue
shadows on snow. Weeping icicles...
Feels like spring.
...

Happy New Year!

The new year already!? Wasn't I just wishing you a happy 2018?

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? Wow....

And that picture? Where I'm smiling and celebrating my laughlines? That is misleading, because it was taken way before I crashed and burned during the holiday.

Because I know how much I hate to read downer posts, I won't subject you to one. But I will say that I'm resembling that photo more and more as the moments pass, and by tomorrow I hope to be making that face again. (...wings crossed!...)

So I'll just wind this up by saying that I hope the new year is great for us all. May it be everything we need it to be.

May those brutal goodbyes be few. And may there be many amazing new hellos!

And may we all get to be as creative as we desire without having to worry about money or healthcare or how clean our house is.

CHEERS.

I love you.
...