BOOM! -- 2020

Today I feel a LOT like this little chickadee I witnessed on New Years Eve, so dazed and bewildered after accidentally crashing into my mother's patio door that it had all it could do to sit upright again without my assistance. And I blame it all on what I call the promise of my 'hibernation season' and the ultimate reality of it....

What was I thinking, anyway? On the heels of Fest came birthdays and my much-anticipated Halloween, followed by ramping up production again for my final art show of the year, then said art show occurring on the same weekend as Thanksgiving.... But I'd no sooner returned home again from the art show than I hopped a plane for Arkansas to spend as much time as possible with my Eldest and her family. It was a wonderful whirlwind! And during my absence James planned a Christmas vacation for the two of us to our favorite destination, hoping that by 'running away' for the holidays we could finally recuperate by avoiding all the usual Christmas stress.

So no sooner was I home again from Arkansas than James and I flew away. We'd purposely made zero plans for the holiday, hoping that our respective families would carry on without us. But if we thought we were making things easier for anyone, we were mistaken....

Christmas was just waiting for us when we got back. Family obligations were so immediate that I didn't even unpack (still haven't, really), just grabbed my suitcase and headed north until New Years Eve. Snow buried us. New Years Eve blew past us. And New Years Day found me finally home again and toasting the new year with the champagne James had bought for the night before. And suddenly I felt like I had been picked up and thrown into 2020. So much so that today I am that bird in the photo, blinking confusedly and wondering what the hell happened.

I slept until noon today, my first day alone at Tumbledown. And I'm tip-toeing and whispering in my shadowy house. There's no TV, no music, no lights. No sound save the click of my fingers on the computer keyboard. Even my Zoo is being especially gentle with me. It's like my normally exuberant Petz can sense that my nerve endings have been sanded raw and my brains are still addled. All around me Tumbledown looks like it did back in October after the end of Fest. As if I haven't had a moment since to deal with the after-season chaos....

When I think of my year, when I imagine it in my head -- all the months stretching out like a Year-at-a-Glance calendar -- October and November and December are empty. Blank. Like a hibernation period in my imagination. Full of rest and recuperation, and days when I can happily create, bake, decorate, dream, listen to carols and make handmade gifts while the snow falls outside, enveloping me in my cozy cocoon. I don't know why I still see it that way because it's never been that way, yet every year after Fest I still look forward to the fantasy of it with delightful anticipation.

All the additional unnecessary stress I caused for myself in the final weeks of 2019 did one thing positive, though: it shook every one of my cells by the hair until their eyes rattled. It spun me around until I had no idea which way I was facing. And I don’t think I’ve ever approached a New Year from this perspective before. 2019 ended seismically and chaotically and without any seasonal traditions to hang on to, and now 2020 feels like I'm still buried deep under the mess of it all even as the dust continues to fall and settle.

So here's to the dust settling already! And to the promise of a new year and a fresh sheet of paper. I am interested to see what transpires from here, both personally and artistically, and I look forward to sharing it with you.

Happy new year, my friend! Thank you for being in my life.

...me.
...

Dark Autumn (and Baby Steps)

Oops....

I haven’t written since Fest, have I? 

My excuse is always that so much happens there that I get overwhelmed when I try to tell you about it; I just don’t know where to start. (If you're wondering? It was a good season for me. And I learned a lot about myself, as always.)

Perhaps I should hunt down my notebook, the one in which I jot down EVERYTHING that happens there so I don't forget, and then take the time to pen an entry for each day of the show, highlighting all the incredible magic that occurs there at Mayfaire.

Because then perhaps I can describe for once just how incredibly overwhelming (and overstimulating) a season there can be. And it starts like a storm First Weekend, and there’s no time to recover until the whole dang crazy tempest is over for the season. 

And then by the time I’m ‘myself’ again, my glorious October is almost over. Halloween is just seconds away and I’m unprepared! And then trick-or-treating comes, goes, and is gone for the year and I’m too tired to stay awake until midnight to savor the last little pumpkin spice (and pomegranate) bits, and the next day it’s like ‘anything Halloween’ is poison to me. Like anything Christmas-y is the day after Christmas…. 

But I love the grays and browns and introspection of November just as much as I love the fiery colors of October. And as long as the snow stays away until December I’ll at least have a few weeks of Dark Autumn to enjoy. 

So here’s to November. And to the days of Dark Autumn.

And thanks for reading. It feels good to write to you again.

...

Happy New Year

Yes, I know I haven't written.... I haven't written for a long, long time.

But I won't begin this powerful new year with an apology. Instead, I'll say, "Thank you for still being here to read this little message."  

Thank you.

Thank you with all my heart.

Thank YOU.

Love,
...me.

The Party's Over (yay!)

I see you, 2015....

I look at the archive listings at the side of this blog and it bugs me to see that I posted next to nothing in November/December of 2014.

No posts about trying to gear up for Black Friday, Small Biz Saturday, Cyber Monday, the Christmas shopping season, or about the long hours spent taking photos of new products and then trashing them all and starting over again because they sucked.

No posts about how reluctant I always am to advertise my work at this time of year because it makes me feel like just another businessperson begging for your Christmas dollars.

No posts wondering what kind of businessperson wouldn't milk the opportunity for holiday sales??

No posts about how much I wish I could wrap up a Little Something for every one of you here and slip it in your Christmas stockings. Because you're important to me and I appreciate you.

No posts offering Christmas greetings. No holiday wishes. No 'tis the seasons. Nothing like that....

My apologies....

You were in my thoughts, however. Along with about a million other things. And I'm confident that your December was every bit as overwhelming as mine.

But now the big crazy holiday is behind us and the new year's begun. One with no mistakes in it yet. One that's still full of promise and possibility. One with a fancy capital 'A' in its adventure.

I plan to do the best I can with it.

And I hope you'll continue to join me, my friend. :)
...

Still Here

I've been far from the keyboard lately, up to my neck in the busy-ness that is summer here at Tumbledown.

There have been big blissful grandbug moments and hot sunny days plucked from a Calvin-and-Hobbes strip. And, of course, I'm still trying to digest my recent Trip of a Lifetime, put my impressions in order, make wonderful magickal sense of it all.

It's butterfly season, too, and all is in full swing here. Stacks of caterpillar-filled plastic beer cups line my kitchen countertops right now -- a MUCH better season this year than in the recent past. My days start and end with milkweed as I try to save the world one monarch butterfly at a time. It's not much in the grand scheme of things, I know, but I like to think I'm making a difference somehow.

Plus, the Renaissance Festival is just a few short weeks away. So much to do and prepare for, set up and consider! I see it in my head and feel both anxious and eager.

So much on my plate right now. And then there's YOU-- in my thoughts every day.

The last time I wrote was a while ago, wasn't it? A whole month has passed without a post.... I was in a mood then. And after pressing the 'publish' button I backed away from the keyboard and had a hard time returning to it.

Sorry....

As you know, the post was all about 'losing friends and negatively influencing people,' and I was feeling somewhat unloved....

But as one awesome Facebook friend would later put it, "...if some people come and go, be grateful for those who will always stay!" So I know now that my focus was in the wrong place, on the wrong people. There are folks here who are devoted, constant, steadfast, willing to take my bad with my good (bless you!; I'm so grateful that you're here that I want to go there and give you a big hug), and they're the ones I should be focusing on.

Wonderful people.

Like you.

I heart you, my friend; I hope you know that.... And plan to hear from me again soon, OK? Because lots has happened. And I have lots to tell you.

Love,
...me.

Thoughts of You

Finally. A day of clouds....

The wind outside flutters the evergreen spray on my front door. It sounds like spidery fingers, scrabbling at the window, trying to get in. The ghost of Christmas Future. It knows that shadows of the holiday still exist in here....

In the front room I can hear Miss Lily picking in her food dish for the 'good' bits while Lovey feathers her nest and Thurston preens. He mutters to himself and Lovey scolds him gently. An old married couple.... 

Already Boo's upstairs, curled on her pillow in the bedroom shadows. A princess surrounded by her tower of books.... 

The house is dark. Shadowed. The furnace churns, the refrigerator hums.... I put the kettle on the stove and prepare my cup, then nibble Christmas cookies while the water heats.....
 
Soon it's ready. I carry my coffee out to the desk, inhaling its steam, sampling it in tentative little sips, burning my tongue. Because I'm lost in thought. Thinking of you and how to begin my letter.

And before long, I'm away in my head, visiting with you again in the glow of the computer monitor. :)

Because of you I do this. And because of this I love you. Don't say anything to my art, 'k?, but sometimes writing is even better than drawing. 
...
 

And the Winner is....

Oh those Punchbowl folks. They just keep giving us fun reasons to celebrate (and DRAW, don't forget!). And today we're looking at Cordon Bleu Day.

A Punchbowl snippet sez this about it:

"Did you know that “cordon bleu” means “blue ribbon” in French? In the 1500s, the Order of the Knights of the Holy Spirit became known as “Les Cordon Bleus.” The knights used a blue ribbon to hang their talisman, and eventually the term became associated with distinction and honor. Today, we still award blue ribbons for excellence!"

So I'm awarding today's blogsketch to YOU. You win the Most Excellent Reader blue ribbon, my dear.

Congratulations!

:)

~delayne.
...

This Isn't the Post You're Looking For

This is me, Hulking Out.

Something is happening in my world right now that is catching fire a little and I'm not prepared for it. As a result, you may have followed a link to this blog hoping to read a post about tattoos. Please know that there IS one, but this isn't exactly it at the moment. 

Bottom line: I've been trying to make sense of a topic that explodes my head every time I think on it (if you're an artist, too, you might know what I mean....). And the more I let my thoughts vomit out and collect, the more I realize that sifting through the mess to make them coherent is gonna take some serious time....

What started my latest little meltdown was this: I shared a sketch online recently and received some positive comments, one of them being along the lines of, "This would make a great tattoo! Would you mind?" And I kind of fell apart inside....

It's not the first time I've been told that about a design of mine (it seriously happens almost daily). And it wasn't the request itself that put me into a tailspin (someone actually ASKED; how rare is that??). It's the sudden tsunami of feelings -- mostly negative -- that crash down on me now whenever I hear or read or write the word.

I get that the fad of tattooing has exploded spectacularly and that we can expect the fall-out to continue for eons; it's not going away or dying down anytime soon, probably not even in my lifetime. But I don't want my work to be dragged into it (oops -- too late!*), at least not until I can wrap my head around the idea. It just gives me the heebie-jeebies. Still not 100% sure why, exactly, which is why I'm exploring my thoughts from all sides.

The first thing I think to do when forced to face the equation of 'my work + tattoos' is to quit drawing completely and start sculpting instead. (Anyone who knows me knows that this is impossible.) Then I start thinking of erasing myself, my blog, my Facebook pages, my website -- everything -- from the Internet. (Turns out, that really IS impossible....) And then I think, "Dang it, I'll tear up my Fest contract just so I won't Hulk Out inside and get an ulcer everytime someone says the 'T' word to my face." THAT one seems almost do-able.

My rant for the moment, though, is how I manage to get sucked into it anyway, sometimes even without my knowledge or permission. And I tell you what: there's nothing like being completely surprised by the reveal of one of your designs inked permanently on someone's body. It'll do a number on your day, that's for sure. And guess what? You are partly responsible, so get used to it; better quickly figure out a way to give it a positive spin or you'll get to THIS point.

(*Deep cleansing breaths....*)

I said this wasn't the post. My real post is far bigger. Only right now it's so all-over-the-map that it'll take me some time to hone it and edit it and make it even vaguely almost marginally understandable.

But if THIS post gets you thinking at all or gets you interested in further thoughts or possibly a dialogue, stay tuned, 'k? Because there's more where this came from.

And -- I may even have hit upon a solution. And for that I can't be more grateful for the kindness of fans. (Thank YOU -- y'all know who you are -- for helping me see all facets of this issue.)

~delayne.

... 

*P.S.: There are tattoos of my work out there that were inked with my complete permission. As much as I still can't figure out why you'd want to mark yourselves with my work (you need no embellishments, sweeties; you're beautiful just as you are), I'm honored by the requests and still very much appreciate the monetary compensation. I wish all my tattoo-obsessed fans were like you.

Mystery Muse-ing

It's COLORFUL in Artella Land

A few short weeks ago I signed up to be a Mystery Muse for the month of February, courtesy of Marney Makridakis and her wonderful Artella Land website. (Go ahead, click on the links above and check it all out.)

Being a Mystery Muse is like being a 'secret santa' only better.

Remember how I mentioned recently how much I love getting personal mail? And about how dang magical I think the whole process is? Well, being a Mystery Muse combines it all. (And -- big heartfelt apologies! -- I should've given you a heads-up about this earlier, because now the month of February is over and if you want to be a part of this project you'll have to wait until next year. However, by becoming a member of Artella Land now and signing up to receive future artellagrams you'll be one of the first folks to know when it all happens again -- yay!)

This year, the rules of Mystery Musedom were described thusly:  

• Sign up to be a Mystery Muse and you will then receive the name and home address of someone else who has signed up.
• Your job then will be to send at least two handmade creations to that person during the month of February. The things you send can be absolutely anything, as long as they are items that you have created personally with your own little hands. 
• Be sure to remain mysterious and keep your identity a big old secret until you send your final offering, at which time it's OK to reveal your creative Secret Superhero-ness.
• There's absolutely no cost other than your postage to mail your surprises to your assigned 'Muse-ee,' so it's completely free to participate.
• And, as Marney says, this "is simply a fun way to start the new year with positive, supportive energy...by sharing a bit of your own creativity...while receiving a boost of inspiration from someone else's creativity, as well!"